Sexuality isn't binary, and desire can shift with circumstance
In the quiet corners of the internet, where anonymity permits confession, a single Reddit post about marijuana and shifting desire opened a window onto one of humanity's oldest questions: what does it mean to want what we want, and does the answer change when our minds do? The emergence of terms like 'highsexual' and the 'g0y' movement reflect a persistent human need to name experience before claiming identity — to find language that fits the contours of a life rather than forcing a life into the contours of language. These online debates, however fractious, are part of a longer story about how societies negotiate the boundaries of selfhood and desire.
- A single anonymous Reddit post about marijuana-induced attraction to men ignited hundreds of responses within hours, exposing a widespread but rarely spoken experience.
- The coining of 'highsexual' — a term quietly sitting in Urban Dictionary since 2009 — suddenly gave shape to something people recognized in themselves, accelerating the conversation beyond its original thread.
- Parallel controversy around the 'g0y' movement, which allowed men to define same-sex contact as non-homosexual based on a technical boundary, deepened the tension around who gets to define sexual identity and how.
- Beneath the debate lies a genuine unresolved question: do substances like marijuana or LSD reveal latent desires, or do they temporarily manufacture ones that vanish with sobriety?
- The discussion is landing in an unresolved space — more categories, more visibility, but no consensus on whether these new terms illuminate identity or simply multiply the ways people avoid claiming one.
In early December, a Reddit user identifying as heterosexual described a pattern that unsettled him: sober, he felt no attraction to men; high on marijuana, that changed entirely. He wanted to know if others had experienced the same. The post drew over a hundred responses within hours.
Among the replies, one stood out. A commenter offered a name for the phenomenon: 'highsexual.' The term had existed in Urban Dictionary since 2009, but this appeared to be the first time it was used with genuine recognition — real people seeing themselves in it and sharing their own stories. One user described his fear that LSD might expose a same-sex attraction he wasn't prepared to face.
The conversation arrived in the wake of another internet-born identity category: the 'g0y' movement, which had spread globally from the United States the previous year. Its logic held that men could have sexual contact with other men without identifying as homosexual, provided penetration did not occur. To outsiders, the distinction seemed like a technicality. To its members, it was the boundary that preserved their self-definition.
Both terms pointed toward the same underlying tension: a desire to describe sexual experience without committing to identities that felt too fixed or too final. They raised a question the internet could surface but not settle — whether altered states reveal something latent in a person, or simply create a temporary shift that dissolves when the substance does. What the debate made clear was that the internet had become a space where the unnamed could be named, and where a throwaway account could spark a conversation that thousands recognized as their own.
In early December, a Reddit user with the handle throwaway15935745625 posted a question that would spark weeks of debate across the platform. The user, who identified as heterosexual and a regular marijuana smoker, described a pattern he'd noticed in his own life: when sober, he felt attracted only to women and had no interest in men. But when high, the picture shifted entirely. He craved sexual encounters with men, he wrote, and wanted to know if anyone else experienced the same thing.
The post detonated. Within hours, it had drawn more than a hundred responses, each one adding texture to a question that seemed simple on the surface but opened onto something more complicated. Some commenters offered reassurance. "Sexuality isn't binary," one wrote. Another noted there was nothing wrong with feeling sexually attracted to the same sex at different points in your life. But it was a third response that crystallized the moment. A user suggested a name for what the original poster was describing: "In my circle, we call that highsexual. You're possibly a highsexual."
The term itself wasn't new. Urban Dictionary had documented "highsexual" since 2009, a quiet entry in the vast lexicon of internet slang. But this Reddit thread seemed to be the first time the word was deployed seriously, with real people recognizing themselves in it and beginning to share their own stories. The concept rippled outward across the platform. Other users felt emboldened to describe their own experiences with drugs and desire. One man posted about his fear that LSD might reveal a latent homosexuality he wasn't ready to confront. "Can acid reveal hidden same-sex attraction?" he asked. "I'm scared of what I might do."
The emergence of "highsexual" arrived in the wake of another internet-born identity category that had generated its own controversy: the "g0y" movement. That term had originated in the United States the previous year and spread globally with surprising speed. The ideology behind it rested on a specific distinction: men could engage sexually with other men as long as penetration didn't occur. For most people, a man having sex with another man was gay, full stop. But g0ys operated under a different logic. They could have sexual contact with men and still, by their own definition, not be homosexual, because they didn't practice anal sex. The group's members, who regularly slept with other men, rejected the label of homosexuality based on this technical boundary.
Both "highsexual" and "g0y" pointed toward the same underlying tension: a desire to describe sexual experience and attraction in ways that didn't fit neatly into existing categories. They suggested that sexuality might be more fluid than traditional frameworks allowed, that desire could shift depending on circumstance, chemistry, or chemistry-altering substances. They also suggested something else: that people were searching for language to describe their lives without necessarily claiming identities that felt too fixed, too permanent, too much like a statement about who they fundamentally were.
The Reddit discussion that sparked all this reflected a broader conversation happening in online spaces about how sexuality gets defined and by whom. Was marijuana or LSD revealing something that was already there, some latent truth about desire waiting to be uncovered? Or was it creating something temporary, a shift in perception and appetite that existed only in the altered state and dissolved once the drug wore off? The question mattered because the answer determined whether these experiences meant something about identity or something about chemistry, whether they were revelations or aberrations.
What remained clear was that the internet had created a space where people could ask these questions without the gatekeeping that might have existed in earlier eras. A throwaway account on Reddit could spark a conversation that reached thousands, could birth a term that people recognized in themselves, could make visible something that had previously gone unnamed. Whether that visibility led to greater understanding or simply to more categories to argue about remained to be seen.
Notable Quotes
Sexuality is not binary, and there is nothing wrong with feeling sexually attracted to the same sex at different points in your life— Reddit commenters responding to the original post
In my circle, we call that highsexual. You're possibly a highsexual— Reddit user who named the phenomenon
The Hearth Conversation Another angle on the story
Why did this particular Reddit post catch fire when the term itself had existed for over a decade?
Because someone finally used it to describe their actual life, not as a joke or a theoretical category. That vulnerability opened a door.
Do you think the person who posted was looking for validation or looking for a name for something they couldn't explain?
Probably both. The question itself—"Is anyone else like this?"—is a search for both. You want to know you're not alone, and you want a word that lets you talk about it without shame.
The g0y comparison is interesting. Both seem to be ways of having sexual experiences without claiming a particular identity.
Exactly. They're attempts to separate action from identity, to say: I did this thing, but it doesn't define me. Whether that's honest or evasive probably depends on who you ask.
Does the substance matter? Would the conversation be different if someone posted about feeling this way after alcohol instead of marijuana?
Maybe. Marijuana has a different cultural weight—it's associated with introspection, with lowering inhibitions in a particular way. Alcohol might feel more like loss of control. The substance shapes the story you tell yourself about what happened.
What do you think the person who posted was actually afraid of?
Not the attraction itself, probably. The permanence of it. The fear that if you feel something once, you have to own it forever. That's what the drugs are for—they give you permission to feel something and then blame the substance when it's over.