It is a treat to be able to choose one's time to say goodbye
Nearly seven years after Jeffrey Epstein's death in a Manhattan federal jail, a handwritten note purportedly written by the financier in the weeks before he died has been unsealed by a federal judge — not as proof of anything, but as a public record long withheld from view. The document, discovered by a convicted murderer who briefly shared Epstein's cell, was never examined by federal investigators and absent from the Justice Department's vast release of Epstein materials. Its emergence now asks an old question anew: how complete was the official account of what happened, and what else remains unseen?
- A single line — 'It is a treat to be able to choose one's time to say goodbye' — surfaces from a yellow legal pad hidden inside a jail cell book for nearly seven years.
- The note bypassed federal investigators entirely, never appearing in the millions of Epstein documents released by the Justice Department, exposing a troubling gap in the chain of evidence.
- Its existence only became public after Epstein's former cellmate, a convicted murderer serving four life sentences, casually mentioned it in a podcast interview — prompting The New York Times to file for its release.
- A federal judge unsealed it not as a verdict on its authenticity, but on a narrow legal principle: once submitted as court evidence, it belongs to the public record.
- The unsealing resolves nothing about what the note means, who handled it and when, or whether the official investigation into Epstein's 2019 death captured the full picture.
On a Wednesday in May, a federal judge released what authorities believe to be a suicide note written by Jeffrey Epstein in the weeks before his August 2019 death in a Manhattan jail cell. Scrawled on a yellow legal pad, the note contained a line both haunting and defiant: "It is a treat to be able to choose one's time to say goodbye."
The document had been hidden from public view for nearly seven years. It was discovered by Epstein's cellmate, Nicholas Tartaglione — a former police officer and convicted murderer serving four consecutive life sentences — who said he found it tucked inside a book in their shared cell during the roughly two weeks they were housed together in July 2019. Federal investigators never saw it. It did not appear among the millions of Epstein-related documents later released by the Justice Department. Its existence only became widely known after Tartaglione mentioned it in a podcast interview, prompting The New York Times to request its unsealing.
U.S. District Judge Kenneth Karas ordered the document released, ruling that its submission as evidence in Tartaglione's criminal case made it a public judicial record. He did not assess its authenticity or examine its chain of custody — treating those as separate matters entirely.
The note's text reads like a man oscillating between grievance and resignation. It opens with a complaint about his prosecution — "They investigated me for month - Found NOTHING!!!" — before referencing what appears to be his 2008 Florida conviction and his 2019 federal arrest on sex trafficking charges. It closes with a kind of bitter shrug: "Watcha want me to do - Burst out cryin!! NO FUN - NOT WORTH IT!!"
Epstein was found unresponsive in his cell on August 10, 2019, weeks after an earlier incident in which he was discovered with marks on his neck. His death was ruled a suicide. The unsealing of this note does not settle what happened — it offers no definitive proof of intent, and its provenance remains unverified. What it does confirm is that for nearly seven years, a potentially significant piece of evidence existed outside the reach of investigators and the public alike.
On a Wednesday in May, a federal judge released a handwritten document that had been sealed for nearly seven years: what authorities believe to be a suicide note written by Jeffrey Epstein in the weeks before his death in a Manhattan jail cell. The note, scrawled across a yellow legal pad, contained a single haunting line: "It is a treat to be able to choose one's time to say goodbye."
Epstein, the financier and accused sex trafficker, was found dead in August 2019 in what officials ruled a suicide. The note surfaced earlier that summer, discovered by his cellmate, Nicholas Tartaglione, a convicted murderer and former police officer serving four consecutive life sentences for drug-related murders. For years, the document remained hidden from public view. It was never shown to federal investigators. It did not appear in the millions of Epstein-related documents the Justice Department released in subsequent years. The note's existence only became widely known last week, when The New York Times reported on it after Tartaglione mentioned it in a podcast interview.
U.S. District Judge Kenneth Karas, who oversaw Tartaglione's criminal case, ordered the unsealing after the Times filed a request. The judge ruled that because the note had been submitted as evidence in Tartaglione's case, it qualified as a judicial document subject to public access. He found no legal justification for keeping it sealed. Notably, Karas did not vouch for the note's authenticity, nor did he examine its chain of custody—the documented path of who held it and when. He treated those questions as separate from the unsealing decision itself.
The text of the note, as released, reads like a man in despair and defiance. "They investigated me for month - Found NOTHING!!!" it begins. "So 15 year old charges resulted." The reference appears to point to Epstein's 2008 guilty plea in Florida to soliciting prostitution from a minor—a conviction that came with a controversial plea deal and a short sentence. In July 2019, he was arrested again, this time facing federal charges of sex trafficking minors in New York and Florida. The note continued: "It is a treat to be able to choose ones time to say goodbye. Watcha want me to do - Burst out cryin!! NO FUN - NOT WORTH IT!!"
The timeline matters. Tartaglione and Epstein shared a cell for roughly two weeks in July 2019. According to Tartaglione's account, the note was tucked inside a book in their shared space. In late July, Epstein was found alive in his cell with marks on his neck—an incident authorities later described as an apparent suicide attempt. He died several weeks later, on August 10, 2019, in what was ruled a suicide.
The judge's decision to unseal the note has reignited questions about the completeness of the official investigation into Epstein's death and the handling of evidence. The fact that federal investigators never saw the document, and that it remained absent from the vast trove of Epstein materials released by the Justice Department, raises uncomfortable questions about what else may have been overlooked or sequestered. The note itself offers no definitive proof of intent—it could be read as a confession, or as the words of a man in psychological crisis, or as something else entirely. What is certain is that for nearly seven years, the public did not have access to it, and now, finally, they do.
Notable Quotes
They investigated me for month - Found NOTHING!!! So 15 year old charges resulted.— From the purported note, apparently referring to Epstein's 2008 Florida plea deal
The Hearth Conversation Another angle on the story
Why did this note stay hidden for so long if it was found by his cellmate and submitted to the court?
That's the question everyone's asking now. It was in Tartaglione's case file, but it never made it to the federal investigators looking into Epstein's death. It wasn't in any of the millions of documents the Justice Department released. It just sat there.
And the judge didn't care about proving it was real?
Not for the purpose of unsealing it, no. He said those questions—authenticity, who held it when, whether it was tampered with—those are separate issues. His job was just to decide if the public had a right to see it. He decided they did.
But doesn't that seem backwards? Shouldn't you verify something before you release it?
You'd think so. But legally, once something enters a court record, the presumption shifts toward transparency. The judge essentially said: this is a public document now, let people see it and draw their own conclusions.
What does the note actually tell us about what happened?
That's murky. It reads like someone in despair, someone who felt cornered. But it's not a confession. It's fragments. "It is a treat to be able to choose one's time to say goodbye." That could mean many things depending on what you want to believe.
And Tartaglione—why did he keep it all these years before mentioning it?
He didn't mention it publicly until a podcast interview last year. Before that, it was just in his case file. Maybe he didn't think it mattered. Maybe he was waiting for the right moment. We don't really know his reasoning.
So what changes now that it's public?
Now people can scrutinize it themselves. They can ask whether the investigation was thorough, whether other evidence was missed or buried. It reopens the whole question of what happened in that cell.